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Obsessions and Compulsions

Many children and young people experience repeated thoughts, habits or routines at times. These can be part of exploring the world, seeking comfort, or managing feelings such as worry or uncertainty. Having certain rituals or strong preferences does not automatically mean there is a mental health difficulty.

However, when intrusive thoughts (obsessions) or repetitive actions (compulsions) start to cause distress or interfere with day‑to‑day life, extra understanding and support can be very helpful. This resource offers practical strategies for parents and carers, and guidance on when to seek additional help.

Understanding Obsessions and Compulsions

Obsessions are unwanted or intrusive thoughts, images, urges or worries that keep coming back and feel difficult to control.
Compulsions are actions a child feels driven to do repeatedly to reduce discomfort or prevent something bad from happening.

These might show up as:

  • Repeating actions (checking, touching, arranging items)
  • Needing things to feel “just right”
  • Repeating phrases, questions or reassurances
  • Strong worries about harm, illness or mistakes
  • Rigidity around routines, rituals or order
  • Persistent thoughts that feel “stuck”

Children don’t choose these behaviours—they are usually trying to reduce anxiety or regain a sense of control.

Practical Strategies for Parents and Carers

Children experiencing obsessions or compulsions can feel embarrassed, confused or scared.

  • Stay calm and reassuring
  • Avoid reacting with frustration or criticism
  • Let them know you’re on their side

Helpful phrase:
“I can see this is really hard for you. We’ll figure it out together.”

Children experiencing obsessions or compulsions can feel embarrassed, confused or scared.

  • Stay calm and reassuring
  • Avoid reacting with frustration or criticism
  • Let them know you’re on their side

Helpful phrase:
“I can see this is really hard for you. We’ll figure it out together.”

Obsessions and compulsions often come from worry, uncertainty or sensory discomfort.
Validating their experience reduces shame and helps them feel safe.

Try:

  • “It makes sense this feels uncomfortable to you.”
  • “You’re not in trouble—I just want to understand what’s going on.”

Obsessions and compulsions often come from worry, uncertainty or sensory discomfort.
Validating their experience reduces shame and helps them feel safe.

Try:

  • “It makes sense this feels uncomfortable to you.”
  • “You’re not in trouble—I just want to understand what’s going on.”

It’s natural to want to reassure, but constant reassurance can unintentionally make compulsions stronger.

Instead:

  • Give brief reassurance once, then gently redirect
  • Acknowledge the worry without feeding it
  • Use neutral responses such as:
    “I know the worry feels strong right now. Let’s try a coping strategy together.”

It’s natural to want to reassure, but constant reassurance can unintentionally make compulsions stronger.

Instead:

  • Give brief reassurance once, then gently redirect
  • Acknowledge the worry without feeding it
  • Use neutral responses such as:
    “I know the worry feels strong right now. Let’s try a coping strategy together.”

Stopping compulsions suddenly can cause distress.
Small, step‑by‑step changes are more effective.

Examples:

  • If a child washes their hands 10 times, help them try 9, then 8 over time
  • If they check something repeatedly, introduce a timer or limit the number of checks
  • If they repeat questions, agree a “one answer rule” and practise tolerating uncertainty

Always go at the child’s pace.

Stopping compulsions suddenly can cause distress.
Small, step‑by‑step changes are more effective.

Examples:

  • If a child washes their hands 10 times, help them try 9, then 8 over time
  • If they check something repeatedly, introduce a timer or limit the number of checks
  • If they repeat questions, agree a “one answer rule” and practise tolerating uncertainty

Always go at the child’s pace.

Many compulsions increase when children feel overwhelmed or uncertain.

Support them with:

  • Clear routines
  • Visual schedules
  • Advanced warning of changes
  • Calm, predictable transitions

Consistent structure reduces the need to create reassurance through rituals.

Many compulsions increase when children feel overwhelmed or uncertain.

Support them with:

  • Clear routines
  • Visual schedules
  • Advanced warning of changes
  • Calm, predictable transitions

Consistent structure reduces the need to create reassurance through rituals.

These can help a child manage the uncomfortable feelings that drive compulsions.

Breathing Tools

  • Slow breathing together
  • Hand‑tracing breathing
  • Box breathing

Grounding Skills

  • 5-4-3-2-1 senses game
  • Focusing on a texture, scent or object

Movement and Sensory Breaks

Many children use compulsions to regulate. Offering alternatives can help:

  • Jumping, stretching, or deep‑pressure activities
  • Fidget tools
  • Calm corners or quiet spaces

Thought‑Externalising Tools

  • Drawing the intrusive thought
  • Giving the “worry thought” a character or name
  • Journaling for older children

These can help a child manage the uncomfortable feelings that drive compulsions.

Breathing Tools

  • Slow breathing together
  • Hand‑tracing breathing
  • Box breathing

Grounding Skills

  • 5-4-3-2-1 senses game
  • Focusing on a texture, scent or object

Movement and Sensory Breaks

Many children use compulsions to regulate. Offering alternatives can help:

  • Jumping, stretching, or deep‑pressure activities
  • Fidget tools
  • Calm corners or quiet spaces

Thought‑Externalising Tools

  • Drawing the intrusive thought
  • Giving the “worry thought” a character or name
  • Journaling for older children

Children may feel more in control when their environment feels balanced.

Focus on:

  • Regular sleep
  • Nutritious meals
  • Time for play, rest and connection
  • Reducing overwhelm wherever possible

Children may feel more in control when their environment feels balanced.

Focus on:

  • Regular sleep
  • Nutritious meals
  • Time for play, rest and connection
  • Reducing overwhelm wherever possible

Consider seeking extra support if you notice:

  • Obsessions or compulsions take up a lot of time
  • Your child becomes distressed, ashamed or secretive about the behaviours
  • They interfere with school, friendships, routines or family life
  • The child relies on others to carry out rituals or reassurance
  • They become increasingly rigid or overwhelmed
  • You feel you are constantly adapting life around the behaviours
  • The child is exhausted, anxious or upset by the thoughts or rituals
  • Things are getting worse, not better

If you ever have concerns about safety or wellbeing, contact your GP or appropriate support services urgently.

Consider seeking extra support if you notice:

  • Obsessions or compulsions take up a lot of time
  • Your child becomes distressed, ashamed or secretive about the behaviours
  • They interfere with school, friendships, routines or family life
  • The child relies on others to carry out rituals or reassurance
  • They become increasingly rigid or overwhelmed
  • You feel you are constantly adapting life around the behaviours
  • The child is exhausted, anxious or upset by the thoughts or rituals
  • Things are getting worse, not better

If you ever have concerns about safety or wellbeing, contact your GP or appropriate support services urgently.

Beat
0808 801 0677 (England)
Offers information and advice on eating disorders, and runs a supportive online community. 

Hoarding UK
info@hoardinguk.org 
Support for people affected by hoarding, including support groups.

Hub of Hope
UK-wide mental health service database. Lets you search for local, national, peer, community, charity, private and NHS mental health support. You can filter results to find specific kinds of support.

NHS Services Finder
Searchable database of NHS services.

NHS talking therapies self-referral
Information about local NHS therapy services for certain mental health problems. You can self-refer (England only) but you may need to be registered with a GP. In certain areas, you can self-refer without being registered with a GP. 

OCD Action
0300 636 5478
Information and support for people affected by OCD and hoarding, including online forums and local support groups.

OCD-UK
01332 588 112
Charity run by and for people with OCD.

Triumph Over Phobia (TOP UK)
Self-help therapy groups and support for those with OCD, phobias and related anxiety disorders.

Mind - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) support

Mind provides a clear list of trusted organisations and helplines offering support for obsessive‑compulsive disorder (OCD). This includes Mind’s own helplines and local services, as well as specialist charities such as OCD Action and OCD‑UK. The page is helpful for parents seeking information, emotional support, peer groups or therapy options for themselves or a young person affected by OCD.

Beat
0808 801 0677 (England)
Offers information and advice on eating disorders, and runs a supportive online community. 

Hoarding UK
info@hoardinguk.org 
Support for people affected by hoarding, including support groups.

Hub of Hope
UK-wide mental health service database. Lets you search for local, national, peer, community, charity, private and NHS mental health support. You can filter results to find specific kinds of support.

NHS Services Finder
Searchable database of NHS services.

NHS talking therapies self-referral
Information about local NHS therapy services for certain mental health problems. You can self-refer (England only) but you may need to be registered with a GP. In certain areas, you can self-refer without being registered with a GP. 

OCD Action
0300 636 5478
Information and support for people affected by OCD and hoarding, including online forums and local support groups.

OCD-UK
01332 588 112
Charity run by and for people with OCD.

Triumph Over Phobia (TOP UK)
Self-help therapy groups and support for those with OCD, phobias and related anxiety disorders.

Mind - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) support

Mind provides a clear list of trusted organisations and helplines offering support for obsessive‑compulsive disorder (OCD). This includes Mind’s own helplines and local services, as well as specialist charities such as OCD Action and OCD‑UK. The page is helpful for parents seeking information, emotional support, peer groups or therapy options for themselves or a young person affected by OCD.