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Decision making as your child gets older

Children make lots of decisions every day — what to wear, what they like, how they feel. As they get older, they should be given more chances to make their own choices, especially about their education, health, and future.

Young people learn decision‑making by practising, just like any other skill.

This guide explains how to support children and young people with special educational needs or disabilities (SEND) to make their own decisions as they grow, and what happens when they need help to make decisions.

Even if your young person has limited ability to make their own decisions it is still helpful if you can support them to make any decisions they are able to. This can be simple things like:

  • choosing between two sets of appropriate clothes
  • choosing where to go to eat lunch
  • choosing whether a friend or sibling can go into their room
  • choosing what cup to drink out of

This helps them practice decision making.

For bigger decisions you can help them by:

  • Breaking big decisions into smaller steps
  • Using communication tools (pictures, symbols, technology)
  • Giving extra time to process information
  • Explaining options clearly and simply
  • Encouraging them to express likes, dislikes, and worries

Even if your young person has limited ability to make their own decisions it is still helpful if you can support them to make any decisions they are able to. This can be simple things like:

  • choosing between two sets of appropriate clothes
  • choosing where to go to eat lunch
  • choosing whether a friend or sibling can go into their room
  • choosing what cup to drink out of

This helps them practice decision making.

For bigger decisions you can help them by:

  • Breaking big decisions into smaller steps
  • Using communication tools (pictures, symbols, technology)
  • Giving extra time to process information
  • Explaining options clearly and simply
  • Encouraging them to express likes, dislikes, and worries

At 16, young people are assumed to have capacity unless shown otherwise.

A young person may lack capacity for some decisions, but not all. For example, they may be able to choose what course they want to study but need support to choose the right college.

Each decision about capacity is made on an individual basis.

At 16, young people are assumed to have capacity unless shown otherwise.

A young person may lack capacity for some decisions, but not all. For example, they may be able to choose what course they want to study but need support to choose the right college.

Each decision about capacity is made on an individual basis.

Under the Children and Families Act 2014, young people become the main decision makers about their education from the age of 16.

This does not mean that if your young person has the capacity to make these decisions, you can no longer be involved. They can choose to include you as much as they want, and many young people continue to rely on parents for support and guidance.

Under the Children and Families Act 2014, young people become the main decision makers about their education from the age of 16.

This does not mean that if your young person has the capacity to make these decisions, you can no longer be involved. They can choose to include you as much as they want, and many young people continue to rely on parents for support and guidance.

Young people under 16 can make decisions on their own healthcare as long as they are Gillick competent.

To decide this professionals look at whether a child can:

  • Understand information
  • Remember it
  • Weigh up choices
  • Communicate a decision

If they can do these things, they may be able to make decisions themselves about their healthcare.

This video explains more about what Gillick Competence means.

 

In the UK, young people aged 16 or over are legally presumed to have the capacity to consent to their own medical treatment. They can consent to or refuse treatment, and parents cannot override a competent 16/17-year-old's decision.

While they can make their own decisions, it is considered best practice to involve their family if the young person agrees.

Young people under 16 can make decisions on their own healthcare as long as they are Gillick competent.

To decide this professionals look at whether a child can:

  • Understand information
  • Remember it
  • Weigh up choices
  • Communicate a decision

If they can do these things, they may be able to make decisions themselves about their healthcare.

This video explains more about what Gillick Competence means.

 

In the UK, young people aged 16 or over are legally presumed to have the capacity to consent to their own medical treatment. They can consent to or refuse treatment, and parents cannot override a competent 16/17-year-old's decision.

While they can make their own decisions, it is considered best practice to involve their family if the young person agrees.

Will I still be involved in decisions about my family member when they become an adult?

When a young person turns 18, the law says they are an adult and, wherever possible, they have the right to make their own choices, regardless of their disability.

Adults must be supported to make their own decisions if they are able to.

This does not mean you cannot still guide them and support them as you have always done, but it does mean that young people will have more say over their lives.

This video explains the key principles of the Mental Capacity Act 2005.

 

 

This can be a huge adjustment for parents and you may not feel your young person is ready for the responsibility of making their own decisions yet. This is why it is helpful to start early and support your young person to get used to making decisions so when they are 18, they have some experience of weighing options, thinking before acting and using trusted adults as their guide.

When a child reaches 18, parental responsibility ends—even if they lack mental capacity or have significant disabilities. At that point, they are legally presumed to have capacity unless it is demonstrated otherwise.

If your young person has a severe learning disability or another condition that prevents them from making their own decisions, you can apply to the Court of Protection for a Deputyship Order. This allows you to make decisions on their behalf regarding their finances, property, or personal welfare.

When to Apply

If you think your young person lacks capacity, it is best to apply for a Deputyship Order 6–12 months before your child turns 18.

The Court of Protection process can take time, so applying early helps avoid any gaps in decision‑making.

Don't wait until there is an important decision to make.

What the Process Involves

You will need to:

  • Complete several application forms
  • Get a COP3 assessment from a professional (such as a GP or social worker) confirming that your child lacks capacity

This assessment explains why your child cannot make certain decisions for themselves.

Types of Deputyship

Property and Financial Affairs Deputy

This allows you to:

  • Manage bank accounts and savings
  • Deal with benefits
  • Pay bills
  • Manage property or tenancies

More information and how to apply

Personal Welfare Deputy

This is less common but may be given if there are disagreements about what is in the young person’s best interests.

It covers decisions about:

  • Care and support
  • Where they live
  • Medical treatment

More information and how to apply

Your Responsibilities as a Deputy

If you become a deputy, you must:

  • Always act in your child’s best interests
  • Follow the rules of the Mental Capacity Act 2005
  • Send a yearly report to the Office of the Public Guardian explaining how you managed your child’s money or welfare decisions
Becoming an appointee

If your child only receives benefits and has no savings or property, you might not need full deputyship.

Instead, you can apply to the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) to become their appointee, which is much simpler.

More information and how to apply

If a young person lacks capacity a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) is not possible as for an LPA, the person must have the capacity to consent to their affairs being managed.

When a child reaches 18, parental responsibility ends—even if they lack mental capacity or have significant disabilities. At that point, they are legally presumed to have capacity unless it is demonstrated otherwise.

If your young person has a severe learning disability or another condition that prevents them from making their own decisions, you can apply to the Court of Protection for a Deputyship Order. This allows you to make decisions on their behalf regarding their finances, property, or personal welfare.

When to Apply

If you think your young person lacks capacity, it is best to apply for a Deputyship Order 6–12 months before your child turns 18.

The Court of Protection process can take time, so applying early helps avoid any gaps in decision‑making.

Don't wait until there is an important decision to make.

What the Process Involves

You will need to:

  • Complete several application forms
  • Get a COP3 assessment from a professional (such as a GP or social worker) confirming that your child lacks capacity

This assessment explains why your child cannot make certain decisions for themselves.

Types of Deputyship

Property and Financial Affairs Deputy

This allows you to:

  • Manage bank accounts and savings
  • Deal with benefits
  • Pay bills
  • Manage property or tenancies

More information and how to apply

Personal Welfare Deputy

This is less common but may be given if there are disagreements about what is in the young person’s best interests.

It covers decisions about:

  • Care and support
  • Where they live
  • Medical treatment

More information and how to apply

Your Responsibilities as a Deputy

If you become a deputy, you must:

  • Always act in your child’s best interests
  • Follow the rules of the Mental Capacity Act 2005
  • Send a yearly report to the Office of the Public Guardian explaining how you managed your child’s money or welfare decisions
Becoming an appointee

If your child only receives benefits and has no savings or property, you might not need full deputyship.

Instead, you can apply to the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) to become their appointee, which is much simpler.

More information and how to apply

If a young person lacks capacity a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) is not possible as for an LPA, the person must have the capacity to consent to their affairs being managed.

How is capacity assessed?

 

Whether a person has capacity depends on:

  • Whether they can understand the decision
  • Whether they are able to understand the possible consequences of the decision they are being asked to make
  • Their ability to weigh up the options
  • Their ability to communicate the decision they have made

If you apply for a Deputyship from The Court of Protection you need a COP3 assessment completed by a professional to confirm if the young person has capacity.

What is a COP3 Assessment?

A COP3 assessment is a form that a professional fills in to confirm that your young adult cannot make certain decisions for themselves.

Think of it as a medical/ professional check that explains to the Court of Protection

  • What your child can and cannot understand
  • Why they struggle to make certain decisions
  • Which areas of their life they need help with (money, care, health, etc.)
Who completes it?

A COP3 must be filled in by a qualified professional, such as:

  • A GP or doctor
  • A social worker
  • A psychologist
  • Another specialist who understands your child’s needs

Parents do not fill in this form themselves.

How is capacity assessed?

 

Whether a person has capacity depends on:

  • Whether they can understand the decision
  • Whether they are able to understand the possible consequences of the decision they are being asked to make
  • Their ability to weigh up the options
  • Their ability to communicate the decision they have made

If you apply for a Deputyship from The Court of Protection you need a COP3 assessment completed by a professional to confirm if the young person has capacity.

What is a COP3 Assessment?

A COP3 assessment is a form that a professional fills in to confirm that your young adult cannot make certain decisions for themselves.

Think of it as a medical/ professional check that explains to the Court of Protection

  • What your child can and cannot understand
  • Why they struggle to make certain decisions
  • Which areas of their life they need help with (money, care, health, etc.)
Who completes it?

A COP3 must be filled in by a qualified professional, such as:

  • A GP or doctor
  • A social worker
  • A psychologist
  • Another specialist who understands your child’s needs

Parents do not fill in this form themselves.

A person may be able to make some decisions, but not others. Capacity is always judged for each individual decision, not as a blanket rule.

If someone cannot make a particular decision, then others must make that decision in their best interests.

This means:

  • Thinking about what the young person would want
  • Considering their past and present wishes
  • Talking to family and others who know them well
  • Choosing the least restrictive option (the one that gives them the most freedom while still keeping them safe)

For an example of how the 'Best Interest' decision making process works, please watch this video:

 

 

A person may be able to make some decisions, but not others. Capacity is always judged for each individual decision, not as a blanket rule.

If someone cannot make a particular decision, then others must make that decision in their best interests.

This means:

  • Thinking about what the young person would want
  • Considering their past and present wishes
  • Talking to family and others who know them well
  • Choosing the least restrictive option (the one that gives them the most freedom while still keeping them safe)

For an example of how the 'Best Interest' decision making process works, please watch this video:

 

 

The majority of the time, parents can continue to make decisions in the best interests of their adult child in the same way they aways have.

However, this is not automatic for every area of their life and it might be that disagreements over what is in a young person's best interests arise.

The Mental Capacity Act says that professionals must consult family members when an adult does not have the capacity to make a decision themselves. You know the young person best and are an important resource for professionals to understand what they might think or want.

If you feel you are not being properly involved, you have the right to challenge this.

If necessary, families can ask for the issue to be taken to the Court of Protection.

Step by step guide to taking disputes to the Court of protection

The majority of the time, parents can continue to make decisions in the best interests of their adult child in the same way they aways have.

However, this is not automatic for every area of their life and it might be that disagreements over what is in a young person's best interests arise.

The Mental Capacity Act says that professionals must consult family members when an adult does not have the capacity to make a decision themselves. You know the young person best and are an important resource for professionals to understand what they might think or want.

If you feel you are not being properly involved, you have the right to challenge this.

If necessary, families can ask for the issue to be taken to the Court of Protection.

Step by step guide to taking disputes to the Court of protection

Mencap - Easy Read Guides

Easy read guides for parents and young people to help explain information in a simple way.

Challenging Behaviour Foundation - Making Decisions

The page includes information on whether a family member can make decisions for themselves, what are your rights, and what you should do if you feel you aren't being consulted.

Scope UK - Become a deputy 

A guide for parents on becoming a deputy.

Challenging Behaviour Foundation - Deputyship  

Quick read guide with a complete information sheet available to download on getting a legal Deputyship for property or welfare decisions. 

GOV.UK - Making finance decisions for young people: parent and carer toolkit

This toolkit provides a guide for parents and carers to make financial decisions for a young person who lacks mental capacity.

Mencap - Easy Read Guides

Easy read guides for parents and young people to help explain information in a simple way.

Challenging Behaviour Foundation - Making Decisions

The page includes information on whether a family member can make decisions for themselves, what are your rights, and what you should do if you feel you aren't being consulted.

Scope UK - Become a deputy 

A guide for parents on becoming a deputy.

Challenging Behaviour Foundation - Deputyship  

Quick read guide with a complete information sheet available to download on getting a legal Deputyship for property or welfare decisions. 

GOV.UK - Making finance decisions for young people: parent and carer toolkit

This toolkit provides a guide for parents and carers to make financial decisions for a young person who lacks mental capacity.