There are often lots of different things going on in a person’s life when their behaviour is anti social. Sometimes behaviour is a way of coping, reacting, or trying to fit in.
Wanting to fit in
You might feel pressure to belong or be accepted by a group. Sometimes people go along with things they wouldn’t normally do because they don’t want to feel left out or want to impress others. It can be hard to say no, especially if everyone else seems to be doing it.
It’s normal to want to belong — but you don’t have to do things you’re not comfortable with.
You could:
- Practise saying simple things like “I’m not into that” or “I’m going to head off”
- Spend more time with people who respect your choices
- Make a plan in advance (e.g. how you’ll leave a situation)
👉 Real friends will respect your boundaries.
Things going on at home
What’s happening at home can affect how someone feels and behaves. Stress, arguments, big changes, or difficult experiences can all have an impact. Sometimes behaviour is a way of expressing feelings that are hard to talk about.
You could:
- Talk to a trusted adult (teacher, youth worker, family member)
- Write things down if it feels hard to talk
- Spend time in safe spaces (clubs, libraries, youth groups)
👉 Your feelings are valid, even if they’re hard to explain.
Struggling at school or with learning
If school doesn’t feel like a place where you belong, it can affect your choices. Feeling misunderstood, finding learning difficult, or being excluded can make it easier to drift into risky behaviour.
You could:
- Ask for help from a teacher, or ask your parent or carer to advocate for you if you don't feel like you can advocate for yourself
- You could also call Hampshire SENDIASS They are an independent advice and information service that can help you figure out what support you should be getting in school
👉 Remember, school is important but it is not the only measure of success.
Feeling stressed, angry, or low
Everyone has emotions, but sometimes they can feel overwhelming. You might feel angry, anxious, or frustrated and not know how to deal with it. Sometimes anti-social behaviour becomes a way of letting those feelings out.
You could:
- Take a break and give yourself space before reacting
- Use physical activities (walking, sport, music) to release energy
- Talk to someone you trust or use a helpline
👉 It’s okay to feel these emotions — it’s what you do with them that matters.
Wanting excitement or taking risks
As your brain develops, it’s normal to want to try new things, take risks, and test boundaries. Sometimes this can lead to decisions that feel exciting in the moment but have consequences later on.
Wanting to try new things is completely normal.
You could:
- Choose safer ways to get that excitement (sport, challenges, new activities)
- Think: “What might happen after this?” before making a decision
- Try something new that pushes you in a positive way like learning a new instrument
👉 You can still have fun without putting yourself at risk.
Feeling bored or having nothing to do
If there aren’t enough positive activities or safe places to go, you might find yourself in situations where things can quickly get out of hand, especially in groups.
Boredom can lead to situations getting out of hand — especially in groups.
You could:
- Plan something for your free time (even something small)
- Try a new hobby or activity
- Look for local youth groups or safe places to go
👉 Even one small activity can make a big difference.
Diagnosed or undiagnosed neurodiversity
Neurodiversity means people’s brains work in different ways. This includes things like ADHD, autism, dyslexia and other differences. Research shows that neurodivergent young people are over‑represented in the youth justice system, with estimates suggesting at least 1 in 3 people in the justice system are neurodivergent, and in some studies around 80% of young people involved have SEND or neurodivergent needs. This doesn’t mean there is anything “wrong” with them—it often means they haven’t had the right support at the right time.
Your brain may work differently — and that’s not a bad thing.
You could:
- Ask for support
- Talk to someone about how you learn and what helps you
- Look for spaces where you feel understood and accepted
👉 You don’t need to change who you are — you need the right support.
❤️ Remember
- There’s usually a reason behind how you’re feeling
- You’re allowed to make different choices
- Small changes can lead to better outcomes
