As you get older, you might start to think more about relationships, dating, or being close to someone. This can be exciting, but it’s also important to understand what a healthy relationship looks like. Research shows that nearly half of young people in relationships have experienced some form of controlling or harmful behaviour. This is not something anyone should have to tolerate.
At the heart of any relationship is respect. Respect means listening to each other, being kind and honest, caring about how the other person feels, and treating each other as equals. There is no love without respect. If someone doesn’t respect you, it’s not a healthy relationship.
Consent is also really important. Consent means saying “yes” to something because you want to—not because you feel pressured, worried, or unsure. You should only do things you feel comfortable with, and you always have the right to say no. You can change your mind at any time, even if you said yes before. The other person must listen and respect your choice. If someone ignores your “no” or makes you feel uncomfortable, that is not okay.
Everyone has boundaries. These are your personal limits about what you are and are not okay with. It’s okay to take things slowly, say no to anything that doesn’t feel right, ask questions, and take your time before making decisions. You never have to do anything just to please someone else. The right person will respect your boundaries and won’t pressure you.
A healthy relationship should make you feel safe, respected, valued, and able to be yourself. It’s not healthy if someone pressures you into things you don’t want to do, makes you feel scared, checks your phone, controls who you see, or puts you down. If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instincts and reach out to an adult you trust if you need support.
Consent can be defined as ‘permission for something to happen or agreement to do something’. For sex, this should be enthusiastic and freely given consent.
The law in the UK states that no one under the age of 13 is able to give consent for sexual activity.
Consent may be given to one sort of activity but not another, e.g. to vaginal but not anal sex or penetration with conditions, such as wearing a condom.
Consent can also be withdrawn at any time.
Watch this video to find out more
Consent can be defined as ‘permission for something to happen or agreement to do something’. For sex, this should be enthusiastic and freely given consent.
The law in the UK states that no one under the age of 13 is able to give consent for sexual activity.
Consent may be given to one sort of activity but not another, e.g. to vaginal but not anal sex or penetration with conditions, such as wearing a condom.
Consent can also be withdrawn at any time.
Watch this video to find out more
Healthy Relationships
Forming healthy relationships is really important, you will have close relationships with friends, family, boyfriends and girlfriends. As you get older your relationships will change and develop and you get to know what you enjoy about a relationship and what you don't.
How you tell if your relationship is healthy
Not all relationships will work out and the person your involved with, may try and make you do things that you are not comfortable with or force you into things.
People who do this may want you to be their friend, girlfriend or boyfriend. They might offer your gifts or shower you with compliments, they also may use force, violence, bribery and humiliation to get you to do things that you don't want to, including having sex with you against your will.
Being aware of the warning signs is really important as sexual exploitation can happen to anyone, regardless of age, ethnicity and gender.
How to spot an unhealthy relationship
If you're worried about the situation that you are in or you're worried about a friend or family member, then there are lots of people you can talk to, don't bottle it up.
If you have a question about healthy relationships – or you’re worried about your own relationship – contact Act On It Now. They help teens navigate relationships.
hello@actonitnow.org.uk
01270 250 390
Healthy Relationships
Forming healthy relationships is really important, you will have close relationships with friends, family, boyfriends and girlfriends. As you get older your relationships will change and develop and you get to know what you enjoy about a relationship and what you don't.
How you tell if your relationship is healthy
Not all relationships will work out and the person your involved with, may try and make you do things that you are not comfortable with or force you into things.
People who do this may want you to be their friend, girlfriend or boyfriend. They might offer your gifts or shower you with compliments, they also may use force, violence, bribery and humiliation to get you to do things that you don't want to, including having sex with you against your will.
Being aware of the warning signs is really important as sexual exploitation can happen to anyone, regardless of age, ethnicity and gender.
How to spot an unhealthy relationship
If you're worried about the situation that you are in or you're worried about a friend or family member, then there are lots of people you can talk to, don't bottle it up.
If you have a question about healthy relationships – or you’re worried about your own relationship – contact Act On It Now. They help teens navigate relationships.
hello@actonitnow.org.uk
01270 250 390
Being in a relationship should make you feel safe, respected and happy.
If you feel scared, uncomfortable, or like something isn’t right, it could be a sign that the relationship is unhealthy or abusive. You’re not alone, and support is available.
🚩 Signs something isn’t right
You might be in an unhealthy relationship if someone:
If any of this is happening, it’s important to know that this is not your fault.
Abuse can be subtle at first and difficult to spot. Find advice on how to tell if your relationship is healthy from Women’s Aid.
Don't Confuse Love and Abuse
⚠️ Abuse can take different forms
Abuse isn’t just physical. It can include:
No matter what form it takes, you deserve to feel safe.
🧡 Support in Hampshire
In Hampshire, there are services that can help you if you’re worried about a relationship.
The Hampshire Domestic Abuse Partnership works with local organisations to provide support for young people who are experiencing abuse.
You can get:
📞 How to get help
You can contact the Stop Domestic Abuse Advice Line:
They can support young people, families and professionals, and help you access the right support.
You can also talk to:
🚨 If you are in immediate danger
Call 999 straight away.
🌟 Remember
Being in a relationship should make you feel safe, respected and happy.
If you feel scared, uncomfortable, or like something isn’t right, it could be a sign that the relationship is unhealthy or abusive. You’re not alone, and support is available.
🚩 Signs something isn’t right
You might be in an unhealthy relationship if someone:
If any of this is happening, it’s important to know that this is not your fault.
Abuse can be subtle at first and difficult to spot. Find advice on how to tell if your relationship is healthy from Women’s Aid.
Don't Confuse Love and Abuse
⚠️ Abuse can take different forms
Abuse isn’t just physical. It can include:
No matter what form it takes, you deserve to feel safe.
🧡 Support in Hampshire
In Hampshire, there are services that can help you if you’re worried about a relationship.
The Hampshire Domestic Abuse Partnership works with local organisations to provide support for young people who are experiencing abuse.
You can get:
📞 How to get help
You can contact the Stop Domestic Abuse Advice Line:
They can support young people, families and professionals, and help you access the right support.
You can also talk to:
🚨 If you are in immediate danger
Call 999 straight away.
🌟 Remember
Sexting is when you might be asked to send photos of yourself naked or partially naked, or you send/share a picture of someone who is naked or partially naked. You might think its ok to send pictures of yourself to your girlfriend, boyfriend or friend. Once you have sent it though you wont have any control over it, and it might be shared on social media or via text.
Since 9 February 2021, new laws apply to the sharing of “intimate images” without the consent of the person in the images. If a person records, distribute or publishes intimate images of someone without their permission, they have broken the law.
Intimate images include any photo or video of:
Depending on a person’s intent when sharing the images, they can face a maximum prison sentence of up to 7 years.
Remember, if you are under 18, a sexual image of you will be considered child exploitation material. This means that you and the person you send it to could be in some very serious trouble.
Having a sexual picture or video of someone under 18 years of age, and sending that picture to other people, is illegal and can lead to criminal prosecution. Penalties can include jail time, a fine, and being added to the sex offenders register for at least two and a half years.
If your partner or someone you’re talking to has suggested you start sexting, or if it’s something you want to suggest yourself, take some time to think about it before you do it.
Here are some questions to ask yourself:
Here are some other things to consider before deciding to start sexting someone:
More advice on how to decide whether to sext and how to do it safely if you do decide to do it
Sexting is when you might be asked to send photos of yourself naked or partially naked, or you send/share a picture of someone who is naked or partially naked. You might think its ok to send pictures of yourself to your girlfriend, boyfriend or friend. Once you have sent it though you wont have any control over it, and it might be shared on social media or via text.
Since 9 February 2021, new laws apply to the sharing of “intimate images” without the consent of the person in the images. If a person records, distribute or publishes intimate images of someone without their permission, they have broken the law.
Intimate images include any photo or video of:
Depending on a person’s intent when sharing the images, they can face a maximum prison sentence of up to 7 years.
Remember, if you are under 18, a sexual image of you will be considered child exploitation material. This means that you and the person you send it to could be in some very serious trouble.
Having a sexual picture or video of someone under 18 years of age, and sending that picture to other people, is illegal and can lead to criminal prosecution. Penalties can include jail time, a fine, and being added to the sex offenders register for at least two and a half years.
If your partner or someone you’re talking to has suggested you start sexting, or if it’s something you want to suggest yourself, take some time to think about it before you do it.
Here are some questions to ask yourself:
Here are some other things to consider before deciding to start sexting someone:
More advice on how to decide whether to sext and how to do it safely if you do decide to do it
What does ‘sending nudes’ mean?
‘Sending nudes’ specifically refers to the act of sending naked photos of yourself to someone else, but is used more broadly to mean sending photos of yourself which are sexually explicit including ‘semi-nudes’ or topless shots.
Like with sexting, it can be a way of people flirting and engaging sexually with people digitally, whether or not they intend to be physically sexual with that person.
Sending nudes and the law
It is illegal to send naked images or videos of, or to, people under 18. This means that, if you are under 18, you should not be sending or receiving sexually explicit images even if you are in a sexual relationship with the other person/people. If you are over 18, it is illegal for you to receive sexually explicit photos of someone who is under 18.
What if I’m sending images of myself to my partner?
If you are under 18, any nudes or sexually explicit images you take of yourself will be considered Youth Produced Sexual Imagery (YPSI) and sharing them is illegal. This is the case even if it is with someone you are in a relationship with, you are having sex with and/or they are the same age as you.
If you receive images and you think a child or young person may be being exploited, or if someone has sexual images of you and you are under 18, you should speak with a trusted adult or someone at an organisation like Childline .
Consent
You should never be pressured into doing or sending something you don’t want to, and this includes sexting or sending nudes. You should also never pressure someone into sending you sexual messages, or send them sexual messages without their consent. More information about consent.
Think about if you really want to send sexts or nudes, or if you being pressured into it by someone. Do you feel like you need to because “everyone’s doing it” or because it will get someone to like you more? If you feel uncomfortable about the idea of sexting or sending nudes, or you just aren’t sure, then you don’t have to do it.
It’s also important to remember that sexting isn’t a contract for further sexual behaviour. You may be enjoying exchanging sexual messages with someone and sharing in a fantasy with them, but this doesn’t mean you have to do anything else sexual with them, even if you are in a relationship. It is normal to want to flirt and express your sexual desires to someone without wanting to act on them in a physical way.
Know the risks
There are a number of potential pitfalls or consequences linked to sending nudes, some of which may not seem obvious at the time.
It’s important to know that once you send or upload an image or video, you lose all control over it. Everything you share could be sent to someone else or posted online and potentially seen by anyone, including your friends, family and total strangers. People can take screenshots and capture your image on their phone, even if you send a photo with a time limit. Those messages, images or video could potentially exist forever and could resurface when you least expect it.
Whenever you are thinking of sending someone nudes you should consider:
Intimate Image Abuse
Intimate image abuse (also known as ‘revenge porn’) is when someone takes or shares an intimate image of someone else, with the intention to humiliate, intimidate, alarm or distress the person. It is never okay to do this, and is a violation of someone’s consent.
If you are a victim of this, you don’t have to deal with it alone. You can speak to a trusted adult and/or contact Childline. You can also contact the Revenge Porn Helpline on their website or by calling 0345 6000 459.
Visit the Childline website or call them on 0800 1111.
What does ‘sending nudes’ mean?
‘Sending nudes’ specifically refers to the act of sending naked photos of yourself to someone else, but is used more broadly to mean sending photos of yourself which are sexually explicit including ‘semi-nudes’ or topless shots.
Like with sexting, it can be a way of people flirting and engaging sexually with people digitally, whether or not they intend to be physically sexual with that person.
Sending nudes and the law
It is illegal to send naked images or videos of, or to, people under 18. This means that, if you are under 18, you should not be sending or receiving sexually explicit images even if you are in a sexual relationship with the other person/people. If you are over 18, it is illegal for you to receive sexually explicit photos of someone who is under 18.
What if I’m sending images of myself to my partner?
If you are under 18, any nudes or sexually explicit images you take of yourself will be considered Youth Produced Sexual Imagery (YPSI) and sharing them is illegal. This is the case even if it is with someone you are in a relationship with, you are having sex with and/or they are the same age as you.
If you receive images and you think a child or young person may be being exploited, or if someone has sexual images of you and you are under 18, you should speak with a trusted adult or someone at an organisation like Childline .
Consent
You should never be pressured into doing or sending something you don’t want to, and this includes sexting or sending nudes. You should also never pressure someone into sending you sexual messages, or send them sexual messages without their consent. More information about consent.
Think about if you really want to send sexts or nudes, or if you being pressured into it by someone. Do you feel like you need to because “everyone’s doing it” or because it will get someone to like you more? If you feel uncomfortable about the idea of sexting or sending nudes, or you just aren’t sure, then you don’t have to do it.
It’s also important to remember that sexting isn’t a contract for further sexual behaviour. You may be enjoying exchanging sexual messages with someone and sharing in a fantasy with them, but this doesn’t mean you have to do anything else sexual with them, even if you are in a relationship. It is normal to want to flirt and express your sexual desires to someone without wanting to act on them in a physical way.
Know the risks
There are a number of potential pitfalls or consequences linked to sending nudes, some of which may not seem obvious at the time.
It’s important to know that once you send or upload an image or video, you lose all control over it. Everything you share could be sent to someone else or posted online and potentially seen by anyone, including your friends, family and total strangers. People can take screenshots and capture your image on their phone, even if you send a photo with a time limit. Those messages, images or video could potentially exist forever and could resurface when you least expect it.
Whenever you are thinking of sending someone nudes you should consider:
Intimate Image Abuse
Intimate image abuse (also known as ‘revenge porn’) is when someone takes or shares an intimate image of someone else, with the intention to humiliate, intimidate, alarm or distress the person. It is never okay to do this, and is a violation of someone’s consent.
If you are a victim of this, you don’t have to deal with it alone. You can speak to a trusted adult and/or contact Childline. You can also contact the Revenge Porn Helpline on their website or by calling 0345 6000 459.
Visit the Childline website or call them on 0800 1111.