Suicide prevention

Suicidal feelings can affect anyone, of any age, gender or background, at any time.

Feeling suicidal is not a character defect, and it doesn’t mean that you are crazy, or weak, or flawed. It only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now.

Samaritans tell us that the majority of people who feel suicidal do not actually want to die; they do not want to live the life they have. That is why it is so important to seek help and to talk through your options.

With time and support, you can overcome your problems and the pain and suicidal feelings will pass.

1. If you’re feeling suicidal at this moment, please follow these five immediate steps:

• Step 1: Promise not to do anything right now
  Even though you’re in a lot of pain right now, give yourself some distance between thoughts and action. Make a promise to yourself: “I will wait 24 hours and won’t do anything drastic during that time.” Or, wait a week.

  Thoughts and actions are two different things—your suicidal thoughts do not have to become a reality. There is no deadline, no one’s pushing you to act on these thoughts immediately. Wait. Wait and put some distance between your suicidal thoughts and suicidal action.

• Step 2: Avoid drugs and alcohol
  Suicidal thoughts can become even stronger if you have taken drugs or alcohol. It is important to not use nonprescription drugs or alcohol when you feel hopeless or are thinking about suicide.

• Step 3: Make your home safe
  Remove things you could use to hurt yourself, such as pills, knives or razors.. If you are unable to do so, go to a place where you can feel safe. If you are thinking of taking an overdose, give your medicines to someone who can return them to you one day at a time as you need them.

• Step 4: Don’t keep these suicidal feelings to yourself
  Many of us have found that the first step to coping with suicidal thoughts and feelings is to share them with someone we trust. It may be a family member, friend, therapist, member of the clergy, family doctor, coach, or an experienced counsellor at the end of a helpline.

  Find someone you trust and let them know how bad things are. Don’t let fear, shame, or embarrassment prevent you from seeking help. And if the first person you reach out to doesn’t seem to understand, try someone else. Just talking about how you got to this point in your life can release a lot of the pressure that’s building up and help you find a way to cope.

• Step 5: Take hope – people DO get through this
  Even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now manage to survive these feelings. Take hope in this. There is a very good chance that you are going to live through these feelings, no matter how much hopelessness or isolation you are currently experiencing. Just give yourself the time needed and don’t try to go it alone.

2. Reach out for help

Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, there are many people who want to support you during this difficult time. Reach out to someone. Do it now. If you promised yourself 24 hours or a week in step 1 above, use that time to tell someone what’s going on with you.

Talk to someone who won’t try to argue about how you feel, judge you, or tell you to just “snap out of it.” Find someone who will simply listen and be there for you. This could be a family member or friend or one of the helplines in the section below.

There are a number of organisations who can offer crisis support if you are feeling suicidal.

• Samaritans offer 24 hour confidential emotional support to anyone who needs it. Call FREE 116 123. Email: jo@samaritans.org
  
  
• National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK offers a listening ear and information to anyone having thoughts of suicide as well as their family, friends and carers. Open 365 days a year. 0800 689 5652 (6pm to 12am daily).
  
  
• Shout is a confidential 24/7 crisis text support for times when you need immediate assistance. Text "SHOUT" to 85258 or visit Shout Crisis Text Line.
  
  
• CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably) runs a confidential helpline 5pm to midnight every day as well as web chat support. Helpline: 0800 585858.
  
  
• Help! I'm in a crisis- advice from Hampshie Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service.
  
  
• Papyrus has a Hopelink Helpline for children and young people under 35. Call: 0800 068 4141. Text: 07860039967. Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org 24/7 (Weekends and Bank Holidays included).
  
  
• SOS Silence of Suicide offers a listening support service for adults and children over 12. Call 0808 115 1505 (between 8pm and midnight daily; 4pm to midnight Saturday and Sunday).

• The NHS 111 Mental Health Triage Service provides advice, support and guidance, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Call 111 or visit NHS 111 online.
  
  
• Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust and Surrey and Borders Partnership NHS Foundation Trust have more information about accessing support for a mental health crisis.
  
  
• Amparo is a free and confidential service offering support to anyone in Hampshire affected by suicide, including children and young people. Call 0330 0889255 or email amparo.service@listening-ear.co.uk to get help now.

Safe Havens are centres that provide a safe and supportive environment for those experiencing, or seeking to prevent, a mental health crisis. Face to face support is usually available although some Covid restrictions may still apply in some centres.

• Aldershot Safe Haven
  Wellbeing Centre,
  121-123 Victoria Road,
  Aldershot, GU11 1JN
  Drop in service. Open 365 days a year.6pm-11pm, Monday to Friday,12.30pm - 11pm, weekends and bank holidays. Virtual safe haven also available.
  
  
• Farnborough - The Oasis 
  Current Covid situation: Please contact 0800 772 0527 in the first instance. We will offer you a time slot with support given via telephone, video or face to face depending on circumstances.
  
  
• Fareham, Gosport, Havant, East Hampshire and Portsmouth - The Harbour
  Informal, non-judgemental, out-of-hours mental health service for anyone over the age of 18. Open 4.30pm to 11pm, seven evenings a week. Telephone 07418 364911. 
  
  
• Fleet - Sasha's Project (for 13-25 year olds) 
  The Point Youth Centre, Harlington Way, Fleet GU51 4BP.
  Open from 9pm to 6am every Friday and Saturday night, it is a safe haven for young people age 13 to 25 who struggling with their mental health or who are having thoughts of suicide. 
  Telephone 07741 117655 (during opening hours only).
  
  
• Havant Safe Haven 
  The Hub, Leigh Park, Dunsbury Way, Havant, PO9 5EW
  Open every evening 6pm-10pm   
  Call us on 0300 303 1560 or just drop in. No appointment necessary.
  
  

• Havant and East Hants Children and Young People's Safe Haven
  Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, 5pm – 8pm.
  Please book an appointment on 0300 303 1580 or email cypsafehaven@easthantsmind.org between 5pm – 8pm Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Last appointments are at 7.30pm.
  
  
• Southampton - The Lighthouse
  4.30pm to 11.30pm, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Currently operating as a virtual service, with some limited face-to-face contact.

• Mind has information on how to cope with suicidal feelings now and in the long term.
  
  
• The Getselfhelp website has some useful distraction techniques and coping strategies.
  
  
• It can be helpful to plan for how to cope with future suicidal feelings. Staying Safe has information and videos to help you make a safety plan and Mind has information about planning for a crisis.
  
  
• If you have a smart phone, you could download the Stay Alive app. It is full of useful information to help you stay safe. You can use it if you are having thoughts of suicide.
  
  
• Grassroots Suicide Prevention has a Stay Safe sucide prevention toolkit for people with learning disabilities

• Kooth is an online counselling and emotional well-being support service providing young people aged 11-25 years with a safe and secure means of accessing support with their emotional health and wellbeing needs from a professional team of qualified counsellors.
  
  

Further information and support services can be found on this website in relation to:

• Mental health
• Money worries
• Domestic abuse
• End of life and Bereavement
  
  

Everyone is different, but here are some general signs that may suggest a person is in need of help. For some people, several of these signs might apply - for others just one or two, or none.

• Feeling restless and agitated
• Feeling angry and aggressive
• Feeling tearful
• Being tired or lacking in energy
• Not wanting to talk to or be with people
• Not wanting to do things they usually enjoy
• Using alcohol or drugs to cope with feelings
• Finding it hard to cope with everyday things
• Not replying to messages or being distant
• Talking about feeling hopeless, helpless or worthless
• Talking about feeling trapped by life circumstances they can’t see a way out of, or feeling unable to escape their thoughts
• A change in routine, such as sleeping or eating more or less than normal
• Engaging in risk-taking behaviour, like gambling or violence
• Self-harming

Again, everyone is different, but here are some common situations that may lead to someone having suicidal thoughts:

• loss, including loss of a friend or a family member through bereavement
• suicide or attempted suicide of family member, friend or public figure
• relationship and family problems
• housing problems
• financial worries
• job-related stress
• college or study-related pressures
• bullying, abuse or neglect
• loneliness and isolation
• challenging current events
• depression
• painful and/or disabling physical illness
• heavy use of or dependency on alcohol or other drugs

We all have a role to play in suicide prevention. About 70 percent of people who commit suicide give some sort of verbal or nonverbal clue about their intention to end their life. That means you could be in a position to guide someone to get help before they commit the one action that can never be taken back.

Things you can do:

• Understand the facts around suicide and suicidal thoughts. This can help you to help someone to cope.
• Look out for possible signs and situations (see section above).
• Find information around how you can have a conversation with and support someone:
• Samaritans has information if you’re worried about someone, including how to have a conversation using active listening
• Rethink Mental Illness has advice on how to support someone with suicidal thoughts
• Build your confidence by doing some online suicide awareness training (see section below).

Organisations offering helplines and advice are listed in the sections above.

Online training:

• Zero Suicide Alliance offers free online training which provides a better understanding of the signs to look out for and the skills required to approach someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts.

If the person is in need of urgent help and cannot keep safe:

• Call an ambulance on 999 or help them to get to the nearest A&E department.
• Stay with them if you are able and continue to talk to them if you can

If the person can keep safe for a short while but is still in need of urgent help, you could:

• dial 111. This is a free service and is open 24/7
• contact their GP and ask for an emergency appointment