Suicide prevention

Understanding suicidal feelings

Suicidal feelings can affect anyone, of any age, gender or background, at any time.

Feeling suicidal is not a character defect, and it doesn’t mean that you are crazy, or weak, or flawed. It only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now.

Samaritans tell us that the majority of people who feel suicidal do not actually want to die; they do not want to live the life they have. That is why it is so important to seek help and to talk through your options.

With time and support, you can overcome your problems and the pain and suicidal feelings will pass.

If you are having suicidal thoughts

If you feel your life is at risk right now, call 999 or head to A&E
If you are safe and need someone to talk to, you can get support from:
 - NHS Metal Health Crisis support on 111
 - Call Samaritans on 116 123
 - Text 'Hants' to 85258
 - If you are under 19, you can call Childline on 0800 1111. The number will not appear on your phone bill.

1. If you’re having suicidal thoughts at this moment, please follow these five immediate steps:
  • Step 1: Promise not to do anything right now
    Even though you’re in a lot of pain right now, give yourself some distance between thoughts and action. Make a promise to yourself: “I will wait 24 hours and won’t do anything drastic during that time.” Or, wait a week.

    Thoughts and actions are two different things—your suicidal thoughts do not have to become a reality. There is no deadline, no one’s pushing you to act on these thoughts immediately. Wait. Wait and put some distance between your suicidal thoughts and suicidal action.

  • Step 2: Avoid drugs and alcohol
    Suicidal thoughts can become even stronger if you have taken drugs or alcohol. It is important to not use nonprescription drugs or alcohol when you feel hopeless or are thinking about suicide.

  • Step 3: Make your home safe
    Remove things you could use to hurt yourself, such as pills, knives or razors.. If you are unable to do so, go to a place where you can feel safe. If you are thinking of taking an overdose, give your medicines to someone who can return them to you one day at a time as you need them.

  • Step 4: Don’t keep these suicidal feelings to yourself
    Many of us have found that the first step to coping with suicidal thoughts and feelings is to share them with someone we trust. It may be a family member, friend, therapist, member of the clergy, family doctor, coach, or an experienced counsellor at the end of a helpline.

    Find someone you trust and let them know how bad things are. Don’t let fear, shame, or embarrassment prevent you from seeking help. And if the first person you reach out to doesn’t seem to understand, try someone else. Just talking about how you got to this point in your life can release a lot of the pressure that’s building up and help you find a way to cope.

  • Step 5: Take hope – people DO get through this
    Even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now manage to survive these feelings. Take hope in this. There is a very good chance that you are going to live through these feelings, no matter how much hopelessness or isolation you are currently experiencing. Just give yourself the time needed and don’t try to go it alone.

2. Reach out for help

Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, there are many people who want to support you during this difficult time. Reach out to someone. Do it now. If you promised yourself 24 hours or a week in step 1 above, use that time to tell someone what’s going on with you.

Talk to someone who won’t try to argue about how you feel, judge you, or tell you to just “snap out of it.” Find someone who will simply listen and be there for you. This could be a family member or friend or one of the helplines in the section below.

Crisis helplines and support

There are a number of organisations who can offer crisis support if you are feeling suicidal.

Safe Havens - 'out of hours' support

Safe Havens are centres that provide a safe and supportive environment for those experiencing, or seeking to prevent, a mental health crisis. Face to face support is usually available although some Covid restrictions may still apply in some centres.

    • Aldershot Safe Haven
      Wellbeing Centre,
      121-123 Victoria Road,
      Aldershot, GU11 1JN
      Drop in service. Open 365 days a year.6pm-11pm, Monday to Friday,12.30pm - 11pm, weekends and bank holidays. Virtual safe haven also available.

    • Farnborough - The Oasis 
      Current Covid situation: Please contact 0800 772 0527 in the first instance. We will offer you a time slot with support given via telephone, video or face to face depending on circumstances.

    • Fareham, Gosport, Havant, East Hampshire and Portsmouth - The Harbour
      Informal, non-judgemental, out-of-hours mental health service for anyone over the age of 18. Open 4.30pm to 11pm, seven evenings a week. Telephone 07418 364911. 

    • Fleet - Sasha's Project (for 13-25 year olds) 
      The Point Youth Centre, Harlington Way, Fleet GU51 4BP.
      Open from 9pm to 6am every Friday and Saturday night, it is a safe haven for young people age 13 to 25 who struggling with their mental health or who are having thoughts of suicide. 
      Telephone 07741 117655 (during opening hours only).

    • Havant Safe Haven 
      The Hub, Leigh Park, Dunsbury Way, Havant, PO9 5EW
      Open every evening 6pm-10pm   
      Call us on 0300 303 1560 or just drop in. No appointment necessary.

    Further information and support

    • Kooth is an online counselling and emotional well-being support service providing young people aged 11-25 years with a safe and secure means of accessing support with their emotional health and wellbeing needs from a professional team of qualified counsellors.

    Further information and support services can be found on this website in relation to:

    How can I know if someone else is feeling suicidal?

    Everyone is different, but here are some general signs that may suggest a person is in need of help. For some people, several of these signs might apply - for others just one or two, or none.

    • Feeling restless and agitated
    • Feeling angry and aggressive
    • Feeling tearful
    • Being tired or lacking in energy
    • Not wanting to talk to or be with people
    • Not wanting to do things they usually enjoy
    • Using alcohol or drugs to cope with feelings
    • Finding it hard to cope with everyday things
    • Not replying to messages or being distant
    • Talking about feeling hopeless, helpless or worthless
    • Talking about feeling trapped by life circumstances they can’t see a way out of, or feeling unable to escape their thoughts
    • A change in routine, such as sleeping or eating more or less than normal
    • Engaging in risk-taking behaviour, like gambling or violence
    • Self-harming

    Again, everyone is different, but here are some common situations that may lead to someone having suicidal thoughts:

    • loss, including loss of a friend or a family member through bereavement
    • suicide or attempted suicide of family member, friend or public figure
    • relationship and family problems
    • housing problems
    • financial worries
    • job-related stress
    • college or study-related pressures
    • bullying, abuse or neglect
    • loneliness and isolation
    • challenging current events
    • depression
    • painful and/or disabling physical illness
    • heavy use of or dependency on alcohol or other drugs

    How can I help someone who is feeling suicidal?

    We all have a role to play in suicide prevention. About 70 percent of people who commit suicide give some sort of verbal or nonverbal clue about their intention to end their life. That means you could be in a position to guide someone to get help before they commit the one action that can never be taken back.

    Things you can do:

    Organisations offering helplines and advice are listed in the sections above.

    Online training:

    • Zero Suicide Alliance offers free online training which provides a better understanding of the signs to look out for and the skills required to approach someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts.

    If the person is in need of urgent help and cannot keep safe:

    • Call an ambulance on 999 or help them to get to the nearest A&E department.
    • Stay with them if you are able and continue to talk to them if you can

    If the person can keep safe for a short while but is still in need of urgent help, you could:

    • dial 111. This is a free service and is open 24/7
    • contact their GP and ask for an emergency appointment